Paradox of Infertility. The repeated failure to create a child together can become disaffirming to our primary significant relationship. It re-ignites issues we thought resolved or magnifies issues we thought insignificant. Rather than sharing in a joint venture, couples often struggle with each other and split into opposing camps. As infertility drags on month after month, the couple has less and less to give one another, when what is needed is more and more.
If you haven’t already, please read my introduction to the Paradoxes of Infertility post.
Buddhist Paradox. Because so much of our relationships are rooted in communication, wise speech is designated as one of the essential practices on Buddha’s Eightfold Path. Wise communication is seen to be based on being open, heartfelt and non-defensive, sharing only what is true and helpful, and using prudent words. Relationships present our greatest challenge and our greatest opportunities for growth. There is no greater arena for unresolved issues to come to the surface, than through relationships, where you can most vividly see your own reflection. Relationships offer an invaluable training ground to practice being in the present in a non-judgmental way. We come upon the paradox: Our worst enemy is our greatest teacher.
Challenge your Assumption. In a journal entry, inquire into this question: Is this a life crisis or a hidden opportunity?
“I have found the paradox,
that if you love until it hurts,
there can be no more hurt,
only more love.”