Paradox of Infertility. Advanced Reproductive Technology (ART) gives us an ever-expanding range of choices in our efforts to bring a child into our family, and we are required to understand, in depth, what these choices mean. A year in infertility treatment is like a year in graduate school. We need to understand reproductive biology, endocrinology, family law, contracts, torts, international law, perhaps another language— and most of it at night. The wealth of options can distract you from the reality that these are decisions that must be made from the soul. Ultimately, moving through infertility is not only about knowing ART, but also about knowing who you are. It is about knowing many things, but also one thing.
If you haven’t already, please read my introduction to the Paradoxes of Infertility post.
Buddhist Paradox. Mindfulness creates a sense of spaciousness so the mind can be open and able to contain all things without limitation. Mindfulness is met with an attitude of curiosity, as experiencing life without judgment opens the venue to exploration and discovery of one’s deeper self. We understand it’s not about the goal, but the process that matters. We uncover yet another paradox: The questions are more important than the answers.
Challenge your Assumption. In a journal entry, inquire into this question: Is your true longing pregnancy or parenthood? Do you need a genetic tie to connect with your child, or can you connect through love?
“It’s not what you look at that matters,
it’s what you see.”
-Henry David Thoreau