Gain vs. Loss

Gain vs. Loss

  • June 23, 2014

Paradox of Infertility. For most people, the more prolonged the struggle with infertility, the greater the costs. Over time, infertility can erode our relationships: to our partner, friends, relatives, and the community at large. We become strangers to ourselves, with traumatic consequences to our home life, our work life, and to our own physical and emotional health.

If you haven’t already, please read my introduction to the Paradoxes of Infertility post.

Buddhist Paradox. Through the practice of mindfulness, we become awake to the present moment, as it is only in the present that we can we truly come to know ourselves. We relinquish the delusion that we should be somewhere other than where we’re at. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction (MBSR) says it like this: “There is nowhere to go, nothing to do, nothing to attain, but to be here in the present moment….We need to practice mindfulness because we practice mindlessness all day.” Rather than being awake, we’re on autopilot. The implication, he says, is that “We may never be where we actually are. It’s not we’ll get there, cause there is no there!”

By bringing non-judgmental awareness or neutral observation into meditation or any encounter with life, our modus operandi of categorizing into pleasant vs. pleasant to control the situation, gives way to understanding and wisdom.

Challenge your Assumption. In a journal entry, inquire into this question: Is the obstacle infertility or the challenge fertility?

“When making your choice in life,
do not neglect to live.”
-Samuel Johnson