Paradox of Infertility. Why is infertility so alienating for so many of us? We often feel that bringing a child into our primary relationship is the ultimate affirmation of shared affection; and bringing a child into the world can feel like our one true bond to the (tribe or progress) of humanity and the stream of time. Infertility undermines all our assumptions about ourselves; it questions our place in the world. As an infertile person who has internalized barren as one’s definition of self, how has it come to be, that in this very quest to bring new life into the world, we bring with us so little life of our own?
If you haven’t already, please read my introduction to the Paradoxes of Infertility post.
Buddhist Paradox. A key principle of Buddhist psychology is to recognize “original goodness” (as opposed to original sin) and remember our “Buddha nature.” When we focus on what’s wrong, we strive to compensate or fill the void in our desperate attempt to be OK, in this case fertile. But when we focus on what’s right, we start from the perspective that we accept ourselves as we are, with all our inadequacies and dysfunctions. Paradoxically, change is only possible when you’re able to accept yourself.
Challenge your Assumption. In a journal entry, inquire into this question: “Is fertility outside your reach or already here?”
“When the way comes to an end,
You pass through.”