Paradox of Infertility. Infertility is often a race against our biological clock. We must make difficult decisions under time pressures whose consequences may be life-long. How can you be patient while needing to move forward quickly? How can you slow down when expected to move faster and try harder?
If you haven’t already, please read my introduction to the Paradoxes of Infertility post.
Buddhist Paradox. Our conditioning inclines us to seek stability. We believe that when we get all our “ducks are in a row” we’ll find the security, relief, or validation we’re looking for. This need for comfort compels us to move away from pain. We reject, minimize, or deny, and set about looking for short-term fixes. Mindfulness uses awareness rather than control to meet life’s challenges. We’re instructed to let go of our resistance to only want we want and not want what we don’t want. When you give space for your emotions to be, you can work with your feelings and find long-term integration. As you hold yourself in compassionate awareness, you can more easily weather stormy emotions and witness the ever changing nature of things. We can take refuge in the paradox: The only thing permanent is impermanence. “All things shall pass” becomes the mantra.
Challenge your Assumption. In a journal entry, inquire into this question: Is infertility loss of a dream or a dream unawakened?
“Do not go where the path may lead,
go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson