Infertility is a life crisis because every area of life is impacted. As well, the typical coping mechanism of control is ineffective, as effort does not equate with success. More than anything, infertility feels like loss of control. However, the very need to gain control over a situation that extends outside control, only furthers the sense of insecurity and inadequacy.
Mindfulness employs awareness as a way of coping. Rather than being caught in automatic reactivity mode which only amplifies the situational loss of control, mindfulness creates a space to see clearly, develop insight, and employ optional ways of being. When paying attention to what is happening, you steer your life with intention: to stay in the present, to turn toward that which is difficult, and to bring forth an attitude of curiosity. In this way, the obstacle of infertility becomes the challenge of fertility.
Informal Mindfulness Practice:
Throughout this week, whenever you notice yourself reacting on automatic pilot i.e. degrading yourself, getting angry, or shutting down…take a pause. Create a break between what you’re feeling and how you’re reacting to it. Calm yourself with the breath i.e. ride the waves of the in-breath and the out-breath or ground yourself in the body i.e. feel your feet on the floor or the sense of sitting on the chair. Then, choose how you wish to respond. Remember, there are lots of options!
“Concentrate not on the results,
but on the work itself.”
