Reaching Out vs. Retreating Within

Reaching Out vs. Retreating Within

  • July 14, 2014

Paradox of Infertility. We often experience innocent comments from the uninitiated, however close to us in other ways, as insensitive and uncaring. The joyful advent of a friend’s pregnancy, even a friend who has struggled to conceive, can cause your heart to sink. The mall full of baby strollers becomes an emotional minefield. These sensitivities can lead you to become isolated. Despite an ever-increasing need for support and understanding, we feel the urge to retreat further and further away from help.

If you haven’t already, please read my introduction to the Paradoxes of Infertility post.

Buddhist Paradox. Mindfulness teaches us to lean into the skid, welcome uninvited guests, and move toward that which is difficult. We can do this by letting go of judgment toward others and ourselves, seeing through a neutral lens, and bringing forth an attitude of curiosity void of assumptions. You are then better able to not take what happens personally. Each stressful encounter can be understood as an exercise to strengthen mindfulness. Mindfulness paradoxically encourages you to concentrate not on the results but on the work itself. Mindfulness invites you to be the change yourself.

Challenge your Assumption. In a journal entry, inquire into this question: Is there an undisguised need for similarity when you think of a child being yours, or can you honor differences and raise your child to become their own person?

“Every bell has a crack in it.
That’s how the light gets in.”
-Leonard Cohen

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